There are all sorts of them – loving, caring, not-so-caring, etc. They come in all shapes and sizes :). They may not all look like prince charming (especially after a few years of marriage) but what matters most is what lies in their hearts and how they treat their wives. Muslims consider Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the best example. Little is often known even amongst Muslims how he lived a wonderful life with his wives. The relationship between a husband and a wife is a complex one and like any relationship if not nurtured and given attention to, can easily become not so pleasant.
Regardless of who we are, there is a desire to lead a happy married life full of love, trust and compassion. While it is common to hear what an ideal wife should look like, here is something for all the hubbies out there. Here are a few points adapted from an article I read earlier. I would suggest all husbands to pay heed to these.
- Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest fragrances.
- Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings.
- Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
- If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet of mercy (pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
- Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah (charity) and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith (sayings) when the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah (prayer), even when he was fasting.
- Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
- Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
- Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives.
- Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (pbuh) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A). When was the last time we did something like that?
- Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger : “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!
In conclusion, never forget to make Dua (supplication) to make your marriage successful.
Muhsinat 