Quality husband

There are all sorts of them – loving, caring, not-so-caring, etc. They come in all shapes and sizes :). They may not all look like prince charming (especially after a few years of marriage) but what matters most is what lies in their hearts and how they treat their wives. Muslims consider Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the best example. Little is often known even amongst Muslims how he lived a wonderful life with his wives. The relationship between a husband and a wife is a complex one and like any relationship if not nurtured and given attention to, can easily become not so pleasant.

Regardless of who we are, there is a desire to lead a happy married life full of love, trust and compassion. While it is common to hear what an ideal wife should look like, here is something for all the hubbies out there. Here are a few points adapted from an article I read earlier. I would suggest all husbands to pay heed to these.

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest fragrances.
2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt her feelings.
3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet of mercy (pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah (charity) and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith (sayings) when the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah (prayer), even when he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives.
9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (pbuh)  would race with his wife Aisha (R.A). When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger : “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

In conclusion, never forget to make Dua (supplication) to make your marriage successful.

Positivity

Today’s post is dedicated to all the words related to positivity and goodness. I view positivity at the core of a happy and content life. We all have problems and issues to reckon with. However, those who are able to make the most of the finite time are the ones who really succeed. The utilization of time must be made with a positive attitude. Small things such a smile can do wonders.

Wise choice of words can make a big difference in our lives and the lives of others. Most importantly, words also need to be translated into action. Following are the words that come to my mind at this point:

Happiness, Smile, Charity, Goodness, Health, Kindness, Forgiveness, Clarity, Fairness, Respect, Contentment, Humility, Confidence, Love, Admiration, Generous, Energetic, Courteous, Helpfulness, Beauty, Bliss, Friendly, Terrific, Trustworthy, Honest, Wonderful, Decent, Calm, Caring, Considerate, Ethical, Efficient.

I am very sure we need to not only use these words more often but also display these characteristics in our lives. Nothing can be better than spreading goodness all around us!

The magic of tea

The word tea reminds me of  rich aromas, chilly winter evenings of Islamabad and quality time spent with  family. Heating some water and adding tea leaves every morning and evening is a daily ritual. Such common is tea drinking, that it now involves a lot more than just tea. According to a statistic, tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world after water. With tea usually come biscuits, samosas and other snacks. The habit is so pervasive in Pakistan and amongst Pakistani diaspora in other parts of the world that an outsider cannot help noticing it. I was told by a friend about how delicious our tea was. I am sure that tea made in other parts of the world is equally worth enjoying.

Since there isn’t much tea grown in Pakistan, most of it is imported. Pakistanis are fond of the Kenyan blend of tea. Tea can be of so many different types, blends and aromas. I will try to mention the varieties I can remember and have experienced.

Chai – Almost a staple, chai (چاۓ) or tea with milk is widely consumed by millions around the world, especially in the sub-continent. Often cut tea leaves (which are already processed) are added directly into whole milk or are boiled with water first and then milk is added to it. Sometimes cardamom can also be added to give more flavor and aroma.

Qehwa قہوہ  – Often confused with chai, qehwa/kahwa is common especially in north and western parts of Pakistan. Its use is quite prevalent after heavy meals. After dinner, qehwa is commonly served and enjoyed as hot drink. Almost similar to it is the green tea which has various health benefits. Besides having antioxidants, tea may bolster the immune defenses.

Kashmiri chai (کشمیری چاۓ ) – One of the best teas I have ever had is undoubtedly the Kashmiri chai (or Gulabi chai). As is evident from its name it originates from Kashmir. It is a rich blend of  herbs and milk. Pink in color and a little salty, Kashmiri chai is the one I miss the most. Garnished with crushed almonds and pistachios, this tea is hard to resist. Due to its special nature, Kashmiri tea is also commonly served in Pakistani weddings. My Kashmiri friend (whose grandparents had migrated from Srinagar) told me that the best Kashmiri chai is made using a Samovar, a metal container used for heating the water for the tea. Googling may help you find nice recipes for preparing Kashmiri tea, but the real deal is good quality tea leaves and the time spent in its simple preparation.

Tea is more than a drink. In fact, its magic brings friends and families together. As the saying goes, lets meet over a cup of tea. Nothing like a hot cup of tea any day of the week!